All about BOOBS! Big, Bigger and Bouncier - Rant Time!

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All about BOOBS! Big, Bigger and Bouncier

Boobs. Yes, you read the title correctly, no need for a second pair of spectacles. This is not a math trick on a calculator that equals 80085 (Or is it 58008?)… There are no typos! This article will be all about BOOBS! And not just any type of boobs but the digital, pixel bouncy ones.

Rant Time Boobs Breasts in Games

When writing this article, two questions crossed my mind:

Are we gamers becoming more perverted?
Are game developers letting out their hidden boob fantasies?

As a disclaimer, I would say this article is intended for adult/mature readers, no nudity or sexual pretence is included in this article.

As crazy as it sounds, this is a hard article to write about without coming across as a sexist towards women for liking the unrealistic proportions of women or a hater towards my fellow man for hating most of the character designs… with that being said let’s move on to the booby parts, I mean best part.

So how do we start an article about boobs?

I suppose we should go back to the mid 90’s where the world stopped turning for every man because of the pixelated boobs of Lara Croft. If anyone remembers this classic game then you might also remember every kid/teenager and adult trying to perform the naked cheat, then lying about getting the cheat to work (not including Tomb Raider 3).

So I’m going to use Lara Croft’s Tomb Raider as my starting point or the first ambassador for women’s boobage in games. In 1997, after Lara Croft’s Tomb Raider, a very well known game popped up called Final Fantasy 7. If you’re an FF7 fan then you more than likely know, I’m going to reference Tifa Lockhart for her pixelated goodness. It’s a bit shocking to think, but a Final Fantasy 7 character had bigger breasts than most page 3 models (not that I know about that! lol). Again a few years later and POW!!! Dead or Alive, the game that changed physics forever with its realistic boob bounce. Dead or Alive not only had/have stunning visual characters with gigantic jugs, but they also have a physics element that makes them bounce and move by action! (Anime Nose Bleed)

So what is our fascination with big boobs in games?

Is big boobs the future for female characters?

During the 90’s female characters were known to be strong and adventurous.

Just to name a few:

  • Lara Croft from Tomb Raider
  • Hana Tsu-Vachel from Fear Effect
  • Sarah Kerrigan from StarCraft (I know not 90’s but she’s bad ass)
  • Samus Aran from Metroid
  • Jill Valentine/ Ada Wong from Resident Evil
  • The girl from Legend of Mir 2
  • Ellie from The Last of Us
  • Clementine from The Walking Dead
  • The Boss From Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Also has an epic theme song)

With that being said, what has happened to strong female leads now? To be honest I have no clue… Let’s hope that the future holds a couple awesome female leads that will make up for the over population of empty headed super boobage and high pitched voices. So what are your thoughts on modern day characters do you feel they downgrade women?

 

 

To an extent, most of the characters listed below only make high pitched noises and bounce.

Top ten games with serious boobage in:

10 Darkstalker

9 Street Fighter

Wow hasn’t Street Fighter changed throughout the years, from classic awesomeness to serious bodybuilder body types. I think Ryu has spent more time in the gym then the dojo, But get aload of these punching bags on Laura Matsuda.

8  Bayonetta

While I could of changed this game, there are scenes that show off the boobaction pactness of Bayonetta.

Bayonetta very sexy moment hot

7 Ninja Gaiden (3d versions)

NINJA’S!!!! What else do I need to say!

ninja-gaiden boobs

6 Soul Calibur

One of the best fighting games on this planet! But we all know Ivy for two things!

5 Mortal Kombat

Mortal Kombat is yet another fighting game that has changed over the years- and the result? Serious boobage! I have never really been a fan of this game from the start it has always felt empty to me.. weird right? But if your a fan of MK let me know what you think in the comments below.

mortal-kombat-boobs on rant time

4 Bmx XXX

If I remember correctly this game come out on the PS2 and was banned or censored in the UK. Imagine being naked and doing BMX tricks!

bmx-xxx-boobs on rant Time

3 Every other Dead or Alive game – Dead or Alive = bouncy breasts!!

dead or alive bouncy breasts

2 Dead or Alive Volleyball

1 Bloody Boobs

All I can say about this game is….was Bloody Boobs really released on Steam?!!!! Lol Seriously…

Additional extras that could be added to this list:

Tekken
Sayaka
Mass Effect!

Wrapping up the boob article!

So fellow Ranters, I hope you liked this article as it is a little left field. If you think I have missed anything please let me know in the comments below and also please tell me your personal views on female characters in games.

and also if Ive missed any games with major boobage!

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